Barb and Jill

"What's wrong Barb?" says Jill.

"Oh, I just don't care anymore," Barb says apathetically.

Jill is just about to fire off an angry comment about Thorpe, (Barb's former boyfriend) but she realizes that apathy is very low down on the scale and doesn't want to overwhelm her friend, so she says gently, "It's Thorpe isn't it?"

Suddenly Barb bursts into tears. However, Jill knows that grief is the next harmonic of vibration up on the scale of emotions, so to her Barb's reaction is perfectly logical. Barb is wailing on about Thorpe and how lonely and rejected she feels. Jill is a good counselor, and even though she thinks to herself, "You're a whole lot better off without that loser honey," she says nothing and lets Barb vent. She knows that although being around grief is uncomfortable, matching Barb's vibration would result in failure, for two vibrations of grief would just reinforce the other, sticking both women right in it. Jill knows that only by maintaining a high emotion can she be of any use to Barb at all.

After several minutes Barb is cried out and looks up at her friend. Jill recognizes that Barb is poised at an emotional brink; and that a word or gesture from her can send her friend up the scale, or downward again. She also knows that people can hit an emotion and pass by it very quickly on the way up or down, so she's not sure exactly where Barb is going next, but she knows it's going to be some version of negative emotion, and is prepared for it.

Jill says, "You had some good times together, didn't you?" hoping to bring Barb up a little. She doesn't say, "Still feeling sad about Thorpe?" because that might stick Barb back in grief.

Barb says, sympathetically, and a little defensively, "Yeah we did! I remember the time we went to the putt-putt golf course and he put his arms around me…"

Jill let's Barb go on a bit, because she recognizes the emotion of sympathy, which is a little bit up from grief.

After a time Jill suggests, "Maybe you'll meet somebody else."

A look of anxiety comes over Barb's face and she says, "Do you really think I can? All the guys I'm attracted to treat me like shit."

Jill immediately recognizes the vibration of fear, and understands that it is a step up. "Yes I think you can," she says. "You're such a great person."

Barb says fearfully, "I don't think so. Thorpe didn't think so anyway. Maybe I'm doomed to be lonely forever."

Jill puts a little anger in her voice and says, "Remember how he cussed you out at the amusement park when you didn't want to go on the rollercoaster?" That was a little reach by Jill, because anger is the next major harmonic on the scale, but it could backfire and put Barb right back into grief. Even if it does, Jill knows it's not a problem, for it just means Barb needs to cry a little more and fully release it. Barb's face is a study in emotion as she goes up to anger, down to grief and up to fear again. But Jill's statement hit home, because Jill knows something about Barb's life and how her friend thinks.

Barb remembers many more incidents almost as bad, and her face hardens. "That bastard," she says.

Jill is secretly thrilled, for her regard for Thorpe is like a gooey mess on the kitchen floor, but she keeps her opinions to herself and recognizes Barb has reached no-sympathy, and that if she's successful, the dam will burst. Jill hates anger but she steels herself for it anyway, knowing it's the next harmonic. After probing around a bit on that subject, Barb starts screaming. "Did I ever tell you what he said to me after I made dinner for him???@!@!!" etc. This goes on for a while as Barb recounts all the times Thorpe was mean to her. Jill is holding it together in the face of Barb's anger, even when her friend picks up a glass of water and hurls it against the wall. Jill knows that even if the session ended right now, a lot of progress has been made, for anger is a big step up from apathy.

After a while Barb calms down and begins to tease herself about Thorpe. "Maybe I should go over to his house and put a dent in his truck." All of a sudden she bursts out laughing, realizing that Thorpe liked his new truck, and paid a lot more attention to it, than he ever did to her.

Barb says, "Why did I ever hook up with that guy?"

Jill smiles and says, "I don't know sweetheart, but I do know that there are plenty of guys out there a lot better than him."

Barb says, "There better be!"

She's feeling a lot better now and Jill suggests they go out and get something to eat. Barb is eager to talk some more to her friend and agrees. Jill hopes to get her up to at least interest on the subject of the opposite sex.

The point is, you can use the Emotional Scale to bootstrap yourself, or another, up the emotional ladder.

Someone in apathy who begins to cry is making a step UP. Mostly what happens, a person begins to cry and says, "Oh what's the use! I still feel like crap" and gives up. Giving up is the same as apathy. So you are right back where you started.

When you are fearful and make a step forward, you get angry. Society does not like angry people; the authorities like to put such in jail. In school, angry kids are drugged to make them conform. This puts them lower on the scale, in apathy mostly. The fact is, an apathetic person is easier to control and easier to get along with, but an apathetic student is a dumb student. Intelligence increases as you move up the scale, for the cognitive function decreases in the range of lower emotions. Therefore, drugging children in a learning environment is counter-productive.

Why is anger more positive than fear or grief? Because an angry person is more animated. The animating principle is consciousness. In general, the more animated a person is, the more conscious he or she is.

(This is not a hard and fast rule. If you read the books of the great masters (Swami Muktananda, for example) you'll see that these wise ones were completely conscious yet able to totally control their life force energy. The same goes for great artists and athletes. They demonstrate a feeling of total power, serenity, and joy all at the same time).

When you are in anger and take a step up, you might feel antagonistic. An angry person is spewing, he's out of control. An antagonistic person is more directed, more under control. He is resisting much less and feeling a little better. And he's more rational.

Why is boredom higher than antagonism? Because there is less resistance. Boredom is a higher harmonic of apathy and a lower harmonic of serenity, antagonism is a higher harmonic of anger, and a lower harmonic of exhilaration. Emotions are just vibrations, and they have higher and lower frequencies, just like waveforms.

Of course, the emotions on this scale will feel more comfortable to different kinds of people. For example, I knew a guy who much preferred antagonism to boredom or conservatism. Once you get out of the deep negative emotions it's just a matter of where you feel most comfortable.